Fall 2014 Update

Autumn is the best season for starting new things.  I’ve always loved this season best – it has the best food, most comfortable clothes, the prettiest variety of colors.  New school supplies were always a highlight growing up.  Even now I have a high appreciation for a fresh notebook with supple paper and a pen that glides smoothly.  For the first time in a long time, I find myself drawn back to writing, seduced by the autumn atmosphere in my home country for the first time in three years.

I must admit that my return to the United States hasn’t gone completely according to plan.  Though I have full-time work, I’m not in a classroom, which is saddening.  I’m a teacher in a salesperson’s clothes….but luckily they’re very nice clothes.  My wardrobe is looking much better now that I’ve landed a management position at Chico’s.  It was timely change considering that I’ve lost over 30 lbs since June.  (So fun!)  It’s also a strange change – only once in my adult life have I been this fit.  I’m finding all kinds of angles and edges to my body that I’ve never had before.  Losing my fat cushion reveals that I’m more of a klutz than I realized.  I find bruises all over from countertops and tables that are harder than they used to be.

My dating life got a bit of a jumpstart this summer.  I decided that after two years in China, my social circles had dwindled and I wanted to meet people.  After a few weeks of emailing on match.com, I had a whirlwind of dates like I’ve never experienced before.  I quickly learned marathon dating was NOT MY STYLE, so I put the kibosh on that and started scheduling more coffee dates with old friends.

This has also been the summer of weddings.  One summer I remember attending seven weddings.  SEVEN.  This summer there were only three, but they were significant family weddings filled with high highs, low lows, countless carbs, and many happy tears.  They’ve left me with a stack of pictures, memories, and a new sister!

I’m reveling in autumn, family, smooshy sweaters, and clothes off the rack with long enough sleeves.  I’m drinking in the fresh air, smooth coffee, and the sound of rain.  I literally got tears of joy the other day over a croissant that croissant-ed to perfection.  It’s been good to be back.

And yet.

It’s strange that I’m not boarding a plane.  I miss being around people who considering relocating a normal part of life.  I miss my Chinese friends, and I keep thinking I see people from my apartment complex everywhere.   I miss cold street noodles, cheap supermarkets, sanrenche (3 wheeled bikes), and CRAZY DRIVERS.  Mostly I mix expatriats, people committed to living as an ethnic and cultural ‘other’ because it’s worth it.  It’s hard, tiring, fascinating, humbling, and quite possibly one of the most rewarding things a person can do.  I miss meeting that kind of person.  Part of me was afraid that I’d lose that part of myself, the learner, the risk taker, the I’ll-figure-out-whatever-happens-because-it’s-completely-beyond-my-control side of me.  I talked with my neighbor about it as I prepared to leave China.  He just said, “Naaaah.  You’ve got it in your blood now, living overseas.  You’ll go again.”  It was a comfort to me then, and even now as I try to assimilate.

American culture is tough.  Productivity is expected at every moment.  A person’s emotional dynamics are much more varied, vivid, and projected, which is fun, but exhausting.  The pace of life has been the hardest to adapt to, and driving is less fun than it used to be.

And then there’s this:

I’m tired of hearing people complain about non-English speakers.  Leaving one’s home country and acclimating to life elsewhere is mind-boggling, challenging, adventurous, and extremely challenging.  Not speaking a language is not a mental deficiency or being deliberately obtuse.  It’s also not something that can be remedied with a few months of hard work.  On the contrary, not speaking the local language demands that a person constantly use practical problem-solving skills and creative deductions every single hour of every single day.  Complaining about people who don’t speak English in America shows complete ignorance about the challenges they overcome every day.  It’s also pretty selfish.  English is the trade language of our era.  It’s common for people to learn it as a secondary language.  However, it’s not moral failing if they don’t.  Come on ‘muricans.  Don’t be such a bunch of whiners.  Learn a language.

That’s one of the goals I’m choosing for myself before I move on again.  I expect to be in America for a while, but I know my international work isn’t over yet.  I spent two years in China.  China was good to me, and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything!  I fully expect to work overseas again, though I doubt China is the destination.

But now, now I prepare.  My feet are happily planted here for the nonce, but my vision looks outward with hope.