Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Thursday, May 1, 2014

This Is My Life

Beetles.  Scorpions. Locusts.  Centipedes.  Frogs.  Sheep testicles.

This may sound like a line-up of Fear-Factor challenges, but it was actually the MENU of dinner last weekend!  The university hosted a faculty trip to Kaifeng, which is known locally for a great night market and good food.  Apparently "good food" actually means mind-blowing I-can't-believe-people-eat-this type food.  I wandered around gajillion food stalls and watched hundreds of snacks get boiled, fried, pounded, seasoned and served.

I limited myself to new encounters only, looking for new stories to
tell....and wow, did I find a few!  Insects definitely have a crunchy factor, but the taste was actually pretty good - fried, crunchy, spicy - really not so bad as long as you could get over the fact that you were eating wings.  My favorite were the beetles.  The centipede proved challenging when one of my friend's got a leg stuck in his teeth.  It took him almost a full minute to disentangle it.  You know that terrible mental image you just got of the dangling bug?  I got to witness that firsthand.

The biggest challenge for most was the sheep testicles.  Frankly, we
aren't sure if it was sheep or goat, but we ARE sure which organ it was.  Carefully sliced, scored, chopped, boiled, then stir-fried in delicious ways, but even the food vendor was surprised to see a blue-eyed white chick order it.  We passed it around the table, challenging each other to try a bite.  As it turns out, the real challenge was chewing it...and chewing, and chewing, and chewing....

I've been terrible about updating my blog lately - my sincerest apologies - but I just HAD to tell the world about this little adventure!





Friday, October 12, 2012

Wretched Edibles


If you know me, you know that I love food.  All kinds of food.  Coming from a long line of inventive cooks makes you believe that any food can be redeemed.  Until moving to China there was only one food I couldn’t manage to swallow: raw zucchini.

(Notice the qualifier?  RAW zucchini.  Yes, I’m aware that zucchini bread rocks, zucchini relish is creative, and broiled zucchini is fall staple, but I cannot manage to swallow that crud raw.)

26 years, and there’s only one thing on the never-never list.

THEN I MOVED TO CHINA.

Preface:  I love the food here!  So creative and different, the best comfort food, ridiculous variety-- I’ve been blown away by how great the food is.  But some things….should just never be.

#1.  Sea Cucumber


I was aware that people eat sea cucumber in China, so when I saw a translucent tentacle-ish thing at an elegant banquet, I was eager to try it.  Imagine a dense jello that tastes like water and slides down with all the elegance of a rubber glove.  It was like eating a tense jelly-fish.  You’re not sure whether to chew, slurp, mush, or just swallow the thing whole and pretend like it never happened.



#2.  Things shaped like eyeballs


During my second week here I went out to hotpot with a group of experienced teachers.  Hotpot is a fantastic eating experience, delicious, social, interactive – all the fun of fondue without the peril of boiling oil.  In my individual bowl of broth there was a random assortment of veggies and spices to which I added meat, mushrooms, and more vegetables.  About halfway through the meal I found a mystery item – something round, slightly translucent, with a thin skin about the size of a quail’s egg.  It struck me as looking vaguely like an eyeball, but I chose to think of it as a marinated quail egg and just eat it.  Then it popped in my mouth.  Grittiness.  End of story.  Add to the never-never list: check.



#3.  Stinky Tofu
People have compared stinky tofu to a cheese before, a fermented food product that smells, but still tastes delicious.  The first time you smell stinky tofu, you expect to stumble over a corpse somewhere, and that’s saying something once you realize it smells worse than the garbage lying mounded in the summer sun.  As I child, I hated dog-duty.  (Yup, the doody-duty.)  Summer was the worst because of the combination of dirt, dried grass, and doody.  Imagine that smell combined with fetid diapers and corpse-ish-ness.  And then imagine putting it in your mouth.  WHY WOULD ANY SANE PERSON DO THAT????  I got some by accident on my last day in Xi’an.  It was disguised by soup and some benign-looking chicken.  The taste?  A whole lot like the smell.  I tried a few bites for politeness’s sake, but I have to say again, WHY WOULD A PERSON EVER PUT THAT IN THEIR MOUTH?? And on PURPOSE?!
If you feel like I’m being judgmental, then you are absolutely correct.  I have adventured, experienced, tasted, and judged that these vile things will never pass my lips again.

(Jesus, you hold the one trump card, but PLEASE, let this plate pass.)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Duck in the coop


Right now I’m sitting in a hammock on the roof of my apartment building.  The air has gradually grown thick over the past four days, air, pollution, and humidity vying for the same space.  Now it’s raining, thick, heavy, lazy drops, pinging on the tin roof-top covering the area where we hang our clothes to dry.  Clothes, cloth, cloths – I’ve explained the difference between those words five times in the last two days to about 135 students.  My hammock isn’t the driest place, but as long as my computer is safe, I’m not going to miss out on the quietest outdoors experience I’ve had in weeks.  I love listening to the rain here – the air feels different, but the sound is familiar.

The last couple of weeks have been a little interesting.  I thought culture shock would be a sad feeling, or an intolerant perspective, or a nagging whininess because a person expects everything to be the same as home is.  It’s more like being the only duck in a coop full of chickens.  Everyone has feathers and wings just like you, but somehow you keep expecting to find a pond somewhere.  Culture shock isn’t the longing for the pond – it’s the expectation of finding one.

Sometimes the contrast of cultures is little; you sneeze, I say, “Bless you.”  WHY?  Old world superstition.  What an awkward thing to explain to a student.  Sometimes the contrast is blatant.  Babies don’t wear diapers, so their pants are split open until they’re two or three.  You learn to avoid all puddles.

The hardest thing for me is the noise – constant, blaring, haranguing noise.  The Chinese express everything with BIG sound.  Happiness, anger, grief, motivation = noise!  They also mark every notable event with firecrackers: relationships, births, deaths, building dedications, street performances, weddings, or maybe just because it’s Tuesday!  I’m learning to enjoy these outbursts of sound at remarkable decibels because it is a joyous expression.  It’s been years since anyone has called me ‘quiet,’ but even with my training in projection, some of my student still can’t hear me.  I really think their hearing is already damaged!  Add to the list of necessary China gear: earplugs.

At the same time, the clash of worlds is kind of wonderful.  I missed dinner last night (for choir practice, obviously) so I trekked out to the food district across the street from the university.  Food carts were pulled out along the side of the road, with meat kabobs or fried bread or giant biscuit sandwiches, long tables filled with a million different noodles, marinating snails, sliced lotus, or boiled dumplings.  Everything is vivid, or it would be if it weren’t covered in a fine layer of dust.  Red chipped paint on the carts, yellow and green advertisements high on both sides of the brightly lit alleyway.  People lounge at long tables on each side of the streets, kind of like a community food court outside.  I walked through last night, pretty hungry, but wanting something new.  Between my white face, broken Chinese, and awesome pantomime, I bought cold marinated noodles with just the right amount of spice while locals pretended like they weren’t taking pictures of me with their smart phones.  It was a good night to be out there, the night sky and tantalizing smells – then I laughed as I realized I was trudging around an alley in some of my best clothes! 

That’s culture shock phase #2 – growing accustomed to something, then realizing how absurd it would seem in a different context.  It’s high-sensory living, amazingly enjoyable and energy consuming.  I find I need a lot more sleep.

The air is still dense, but cooler now.  I feel like fall is one step closer.  I wish I had cinnamon – it would complete my perfect bowl of oatmeal!  But as I sit in my hammock on the other side of the laundry, dreaming of perfect fall oatmeal, I’m also taking in the view; a pagoda and the replica of a Russian castle, both illuminated with brightly colored Christmas lights.  Quack!