Yesterday I listened to 63 oral finals, calculated grades and had got authorization from my team leader. (Excel and I have a love/hate relationship going on.) This morning I entered the grades into the computer, and this afternoon I signed the final copies in the secretary's office. FREEDOM!!!
I had a chance for an hour-long post-lunch nap, and I took it. Every time I sleep, I dream. In today's episode, I was inside an excel spreadsheet and each cell was bordered with eight feet of beige curtains like the ones in my bedroom. Two Nazgûl were each confined in a cell, and I had to quickly cut, copy, and paste them into the appropriate row so I could capture all 12 before they could realize what was happening and chop me down with their giant black swords.
Grading is stressful.
Clearly my subconscious is telling me it's time to go see 'The Hobbit.' I'm so excited to finally get some free time! I'm going to be changing up a few things on my blog. There should be updates fairly soon!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Following a Typhoon
The term is almost over, and I'm looking at a 6-7 week break - with tons to do! Some friends and I decided to go to Thailand for a little over a week, join some friends doing mission work, and see the Indian Ocean and elephants!
Even MORE exciting is the decision to go to the Philippines. On December 4, Typhoon Bopha swept through the south eastern Philippines, swallowing hundreds of people without leaving a trace and destroying the homes of over 400,000 people. A small group of teachers and exchange students at our university are from the Philippines, including our building manager who grew up a few hours away from the worst of the destruction. 300 fishermen from her city sailed out the morning of the 4th, and no one has seen or heard anything of them since then.
You know, vacations are great, but I would much rather do something useful and impactful with my time and energy. My parents taught and modeled that times of crisis are times of action. Relief work has always been really important to me, but I haven't been able to respond much during college. I'm currently unencumbered by school or work, and I can literally just pick myself up and go help! A few of my friends and I are going to General Santos toward the end of January and stay in a "cottage" (it's on stilts!) and join a local church's feeding ministry. We're going to do whatever needs doing - feeding, cooking, cleaning, building, clearing demolished buildings. (For my nurse-moms: yes, I'll track down a tetanus shot and mosquito nets!) I can't even describe how excited I am to be able to go do this!!
Besides the relief work, there are many reasons I'm excited to go to the Philippines - the music, the sea shells (I've been a collector for years - it's a deal), the countryside, and the proximity to Papua New Guinea. My great-grandparents met there while they were doing mission work, and I've always wanted to go. I don't think that will happen this trip, but there's a good chance I'll be able to spend time with people who are currently involved in missions there.
I'm headed down with three awesome believers who are ready and willing for anything to happen. Please pray that we can find cheap flights (my task in the next few days). We anticipate that our needs will be small, but funds are limited, and we're headed into an area full of astronomical need. Please pray that we can truly aid and encourage the victims of this awful storm, that we adjust our lives and plans to love them in the way they need us to, and that God's glory shines in spite of our limits!
Even MORE exciting is the decision to go to the Philippines. On December 4, Typhoon Bopha swept through the south eastern Philippines, swallowing hundreds of people without leaving a trace and destroying the homes of over 400,000 people. A small group of teachers and exchange students at our university are from the Philippines, including our building manager who grew up a few hours away from the worst of the destruction. 300 fishermen from her city sailed out the morning of the 4th, and no one has seen or heard anything of them since then.
You know, vacations are great, but I would much rather do something useful and impactful with my time and energy. My parents taught and modeled that times of crisis are times of action. Relief work has always been really important to me, but I haven't been able to respond much during college. I'm currently unencumbered by school or work, and I can literally just pick myself up and go help! A few of my friends and I are going to General Santos toward the end of January and stay in a "cottage" (it's on stilts!) and join a local church's feeding ministry. We're going to do whatever needs doing - feeding, cooking, cleaning, building, clearing demolished buildings. (For my nurse-moms: yes, I'll track down a tetanus shot and mosquito nets!) I can't even describe how excited I am to be able to go do this!!
Besides the relief work, there are many reasons I'm excited to go to the Philippines - the music, the sea shells (I've been a collector for years - it's a deal), the countryside, and the proximity to Papua New Guinea. My great-grandparents met there while they were doing mission work, and I've always wanted to go. I don't think that will happen this trip, but there's a good chance I'll be able to spend time with people who are currently involved in missions there.
I'm headed down with three awesome believers who are ready and willing for anything to happen. Please pray that we can find cheap flights (my task in the next few days). We anticipate that our needs will be small, but funds are limited, and we're headed into an area full of astronomical need. Please pray that we can truly aid and encourage the victims of this awful storm, that we adjust our lives and plans to love them in the way they need us to, and that God's glory shines in spite of our limits!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
The Prayer of the Children
I would like to dedicate this to the people
of Portland, Connecticut, and Xinyang,
especially to the children.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Facing Gunfire at Christmas
I've been on a writing hiatus for quite a while now due to finals, rehearsals, food poisoning, and late-night Chinese classes. I have so many wonderful things to talk about - a trip to the grottoes in Luoyang, sharing Jesus with students, teaching about the meaning of Christmas, and the many adventures I'm having with students and fellow teachers.
But unfortunately, what's causing me to break my writing-silence are the shootings in Portland and Connecticut. For the last two weeks I've been telling my students about the celebration of peace and joy that is Christmas - the feeling in the air, the suspense of children, and the kindness of strangers. Then I read about the shooting at Clackamas Town Center, MY mall, the place where I go for everything - work, studying for school, hanging out with friends, preparing for life, food. It's one of my comfort zones. Also, it's really close to my house and my high school. When I heard, I immediately began shuffling through the list of everyone I know who works there, including all my coworkers at WHBM, my personal shoppers, and my favorite baristas, not to mention the people I know who shop there. At CHRISTMAS TIME.
Then there was the shooting in Connecticut. I don't even know how to comment on that. How can you make sense of the shooting of children? There's no sense to be had. Just awful, awful pain.
And yet - unless we personally know the victims, our cycle of grief is removed a step, and we [referring to all American residents and citizens with the collective 'we'] leap from shock to anger in a single bound. Anger is easier than grief. We then try to use these horrific tragedies as a platform to enact political change. But, as with anything political, we can hardly utter an idea without another person feeling nobly inclined to rip our throats out. So what do we get? Devastating murders and citizens who respond with contention and slashing words.
Gun control. The first response is always gun control. Here's my thought: if a person is a cutter, and you take away the knife, obviously they can no longer cut their body -- but they still carry self-destruction in their hearts. This is a one-dimensional result. If we want to protect our citizens, why don't we immediately think of increasing services for those who hurt and increasing security for those who are healthy? Probably because it's more expensive and feels less productive than passing a law. Every time we pass a law, we set a precedent. Currently, I presume that my government wants to protect me. If armed police invade my house, I know they're on my side. History shows us that this isn't always the case. Please, please remember your global history lessons: what happens when the government has all the firepower and the people are defenseless? Simple answer: bad stuff. The hurried changes in law made in response to pain can lay the ground work for future governmental action that no one wants.
In another forum, a complete stranger made a cutting comment, asking how I 'attended the needs' of other people. I think this is a good thing for all people to think about. In the past 10 years, I've been a photographer, a barista, a singer, a cook, a student, a teacher, and I've sold a whole lot of clothes. I have witnessed the happiness, pain, confusion, disillusionment, surprise, and tears of other people in every one of those jobs. (Okay, I've never seen a cook cry, but that's the only exception.) Distant husbands, fear for children, the ache of loneliness and being left behind, the quiet dullness of being unnoticed, and the even quieter panic of feeling alone in your fear - you see it at different levels every day of your life if you look at people's faces. Look at people! Empathize! Use your face to communicate that you see them. Speak more kindly. A genuine 'How are you?' will prompt a true response. If you aren't getting a real response, you need to learn how to really ask. Then when they tell you, listen to what they say!
But unfortunately, what's causing me to break my writing-silence are the shootings in Portland and Connecticut. For the last two weeks I've been telling my students about the celebration of peace and joy that is Christmas - the feeling in the air, the suspense of children, and the kindness of strangers. Then I read about the shooting at Clackamas Town Center, MY mall, the place where I go for everything - work, studying for school, hanging out with friends, preparing for life, food. It's one of my comfort zones. Also, it's really close to my house and my high school. When I heard, I immediately began shuffling through the list of everyone I know who works there, including all my coworkers at WHBM, my personal shoppers, and my favorite baristas, not to mention the people I know who shop there. At CHRISTMAS TIME.
Then there was the shooting in Connecticut. I don't even know how to comment on that. How can you make sense of the shooting of children? There's no sense to be had. Just awful, awful pain.
And yet - unless we personally know the victims, our cycle of grief is removed a step, and we [referring to all American residents and citizens with the collective 'we'] leap from shock to anger in a single bound. Anger is easier than grief. We then try to use these horrific tragedies as a platform to enact political change. But, as with anything political, we can hardly utter an idea without another person feeling nobly inclined to rip our throats out. So what do we get? Devastating murders and citizens who respond with contention and slashing words.
Gun control. The first response is always gun control. Here's my thought: if a person is a cutter, and you take away the knife, obviously they can no longer cut their body -- but they still carry self-destruction in their hearts. This is a one-dimensional result. If we want to protect our citizens, why don't we immediately think of increasing services for those who hurt and increasing security for those who are healthy? Probably because it's more expensive and feels less productive than passing a law. Every time we pass a law, we set a precedent. Currently, I presume that my government wants to protect me. If armed police invade my house, I know they're on my side. History shows us that this isn't always the case. Please, please remember your global history lessons: what happens when the government has all the firepower and the people are defenseless? Simple answer: bad stuff. The hurried changes in law made in response to pain can lay the ground work for future governmental action that no one wants.
In another forum, a complete stranger made a cutting comment, asking how I 'attended the needs' of other people. I think this is a good thing for all people to think about. In the past 10 years, I've been a photographer, a barista, a singer, a cook, a student, a teacher, and I've sold a whole lot of clothes. I have witnessed the happiness, pain, confusion, disillusionment, surprise, and tears of other people in every one of those jobs. (Okay, I've never seen a cook cry, but that's the only exception.) Distant husbands, fear for children, the ache of loneliness and being left behind, the quiet dullness of being unnoticed, and the even quieter panic of feeling alone in your fear - you see it at different levels every day of your life if you look at people's faces. Look at people! Empathize! Use your face to communicate that you see them. Speak more kindly. A genuine 'How are you?' will prompt a true response. If you aren't getting a real response, you need to learn how to really ask. Then when they tell you, listen to what they say!
All of the sudden, that person isn't invisible anymore. They aren't on their own. They can square their shoulders and face another day. This is how we 'attend the needs' of others.
As I've shared the Christmas story these past two weeks, I've said repeatedly that Jesus was born poor because God was showing that he wanted ALL the people, from the uneducated local shepherds to the highly educated powerful kings from distant lands. This Christmas we have a unique opportunity to grieve with our country in the light of these terrible shootings. As representative of Christ, our job isn't to tell people, 'It's okay, God can fix it.' Is that true? Of course! But if our only response to grief is knowledge-based, or anger-based, then people don't see God's heart of empathy for people.
The willingness to see one another, and in this time, to grieve with one another - friends and strangers alike - shows that Christ is alive in us. God is not absent just because evil is present. I encourage everyone (including myself now) to step away from political discussion for at least a week following these events. Be especially encouraging and thoughtful of those who have a lot of vocational human interaction: teachers, pastors, baristas (the pastors of non-church-goers), and waiters. Let's use the light of gunfire to see the lives of people around us. Go attend to people.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving
I've been told (repeatedly) that being an expatriate* during the holidays can be difficult, sad, and lonely. Luckily for me, I shaped this week's lesson around the Thanksgiving holiday. I told the story of the pilgrims and the Mayflower, the starvation of the first winter, the extension of the Native Americans, and the joy of harvest.
[Yes, I skipped the part about wars, massacres, and smallpox-ridden blankets. I thought that would be confusing...]
All week, I've been emphasizing the importance of thankfulness, of recognizing what we're grateful for and sharing it with others. According to teacher-training (thank you MAT) I explained the concept, modeled the concept, and then the students talked about it. Then the students shared what they were thankful for. Toward the end of class, all my students wrote down what they were thankful for about each other. Of course some classes liked it more than others, but ALL my students eagerly grabbed their papers. It was a little bit torturous to look at pictures of turkey, cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pie pie pie right before lunch, but so fun to explain MY traditional foods to my students!
Every Thanksgiving, we sit around the food, silently salivating (hey, that's an alliteration!), while mom makes us all say what we're thankful for. Sometimes we have specific things we're thankful for and we're excited to say, and sometimes it feels painfully awkward as we say, "I'm thankful for my family and friends." Of course, it's always true - it just feels a little strange to say as they're sitting right there looking at you.
10. I'm thankful for the blogging venue of writing. I track my 'pageviews' gleefully
whenever I post new things. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted!!
Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving!
*An expatriate (in abbreviated form, expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country and culture other than that of the person's upbringing.
[Yes, I skipped the part about wars, massacres, and smallpox-ridden blankets. I thought that would be confusing...]
All week, I've been emphasizing the importance of thankfulness, of recognizing what we're grateful for and sharing it with others. According to teacher-training (thank you MAT) I explained the concept, modeled the concept, and then the students talked about it. Then the students shared what they were thankful for. Toward the end of class, all my students wrote down what they were thankful for about each other. Of course some classes liked it more than others, but ALL my students eagerly grabbed their papers. It was a little bit torturous to look at pictures of turkey, cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pie pie pie right before lunch, but so fun to explain MY traditional foods to my students!
Every Thanksgiving, we sit around the food, silently salivating (hey, that's an alliteration!), while mom makes us all say what we're thankful for. Sometimes we have specific things we're thankful for and we're excited to say, and sometimes it feels painfully awkward as we say, "I'm thankful for my family and friends." Of course, it's always true - it just feels a little strange to say as they're sitting right there looking at you.
This Thanksgiving, I'm away from home, but
I’m filled with sincere and specific thankfulness. It’s been a fun awareness, so I thought I’d share my list
this year.
1. I’m
thankful to be in China. It’s
different. It’s challenging. It’s constantly surprising and seldom
familiar. BUT – I have the chance
to taste, see, touch, smell, DO hundreds of things that millions of people can
only dream of. I see things daily
that teach me more and more about what it is to be human, our commonalities,
our differences. It’s not strictly
empathy – it’s more like taking a walk around the elephant, understanding how
good people can come to love such a different way of life. It’s not fast, and it’s seldom easy,
but I feel like I understand people more.
2. I’m
thankful for the internet. When
the world seems VERY Chinese, I’m a few clicks away from thousands of people
who speak my language. I can see
my nephew’s time in the state cross-country meet. I can see my high school friend’s wedding, a picture of my
favorite coffee shop, and funny comics with American humor. (Guess what? Different cultures have
different kinds of humor!)
3.
I'm thankful for my mother. Even though she was decidedly NOT enthusiastic about my decision to move to China at first, she has chosen to love and support me anyways. She's been a consistent source of encouragement and joy to me over the past few months. In my down times, she has never come close to saying 'I told you so.' I love you momma.
4. I'm thankful for whoever sold my sister her ipad. It was so good to see her face and be able to join my family at the Thanksgiving table!!
5. I'm thankful for the new friends I've made since arriving here. There is a handful of fantastic women here who are like-minded in so many ways. Articulate, intelligent, fun, hardworking, patient, creative, and adventurous. I feel very lucky to be in this mix.
6. I've always thought that I was a LOT like my dad. As I've talked with him about my travels and experiences, I find us laughing at the same things, and generally responding in similar ways - it's so fun to share what I do and see with him! As always, he's been my advisor and supporter, but it's so much fun to share this new slice of similarity. (Oo! Another alliteration!) I learn about the people I love even more deeply when I see them react to the places where our lives intersect. Talking with my dad since I've been here has added a new dimension to our relationship that I've loved.
7. I'm glad to be writing again. I had forgotten how much I like it, and how fun it is to share with other people. Sometimes I laugh at the variety of tone I take, and sometimes I wince, wishing for more consistency. My writing is like my wardrobe, my coffee, and my moods; varied, shifting, changing on a whim, subtle, brazen, bold, nuanced, and always me. I've always felt an affinity for the ocean. It's always moving, wave on wave, pushing forward, swooping back, tides coming in and tides going out. A dark sky makes the water black and angry. A blue sky makes it green, giddy, and buoyant. And a night sky makes it a powerful, silvery mystery. Even in constant change, it's consistently true to itself.
8. I'm thankful for American standards of hygiene. [See other posts for details.]
9. I'm thankful for Chinese familiarity between friends. It appeals to me. Every time I meet my friend Maggie, we hold both hands when we say hello. When my students take me out, they take me by the hand. When I'm crossing a busy street, I hold my friend's hand in a semi-protective way. It's a common, affectionate thing that I really love. Touch is one of my love languages. =)
I feel like there should be 10...and frankly, there are SO MANY things that I'm thankful for, but thanksgiving was a WEEK ago, and this post is coming so late! Oh yes:8. I'm thankful for American standards of hygiene. [See other posts for details.]
9. I'm thankful for Chinese familiarity between friends. It appeals to me. Every time I meet my friend Maggie, we hold both hands when we say hello. When my students take me out, they take me by the hand. When I'm crossing a busy street, I hold my friend's hand in a semi-protective way. It's a common, affectionate thing that I really love. Touch is one of my love languages. =)
10. I'm thankful for the blogging venue of writing. I track my 'pageviews' gleefully
whenever I post new things. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted!!
Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving!
*An expatriate (in abbreviated form, expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country and culture other than that of the person's upbringing.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
11/20 Scrap Paper Journal
Today I'm tired, icky, and full of longing. It's the kind of day where I want to cry, but lack a reason, where you feel like the heroine of a movie right before the climax. And you pretend like it's any other day, even though your heart is full of echoes and your feet are filled with wandering. And you wonder about things that frighten you more than failure, about emptiness and contentment, and if purpose is elusive or simply intangible, and if understanding it is important at all. The kind of day where the cool wind is more a part of you than your tired body.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Computer Use in China
Dear Friends,
As you've seen, I am fairly free and open in my speech here on blogger (my blogging venue). Over the past week several of my colleagues have been struggling to get service because their VPNs* were failing. I've felt very lucky to have such good coverage!
I got a message from my VPN server this morning saying that internet security has increased because the Chinese congress is in session. I adjusted the settings on my computer accordingly, but it does make me a little nervous because I speak so freely. However, I have no plans to change that!
If we've Skyped recently, don't worry about it. Skype is supposed to be very secure. Frankly, I've found the general atmosphere in China to be for more open than I anticipated.
Please pr. for the thorough work of the people who manage my VPN and for the safety and communicative ability of my colleagues. They're having a hard time being cut off from their emails, facebook, and families. What a blessed person I've been!
*A VPN is a virtual private network. Basically it tricks my computer into thinking that it is always operating in the United States. This protects my information and allows me to have access to sites that are otherwise blocked in China, like facebook, youtube, and some google applications.
As you've seen, I am fairly free and open in my speech here on blogger (my blogging venue). Over the past week several of my colleagues have been struggling to get service because their VPNs* were failing. I've felt very lucky to have such good coverage!
I got a message from my VPN server this morning saying that internet security has increased because the Chinese congress is in session. I adjusted the settings on my computer accordingly, but it does make me a little nervous because I speak so freely. However, I have no plans to change that!
If we've Skyped recently, don't worry about it. Skype is supposed to be very secure. Frankly, I've found the general atmosphere in China to be for more open than I anticipated.
Please pr. for the thorough work of the people who manage my VPN and for the safety and communicative ability of my colleagues. They're having a hard time being cut off from their emails, facebook, and families. What a blessed person I've been!
*A VPN is a virtual private network. Basically it tricks my computer into thinking that it is always operating in the United States. This protects my information and allows me to have access to sites that are otherwise blocked in China, like facebook, youtube, and some google applications.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Unbelievable Opportunities
I just spent the last hour lecturing a group of 10-15 students about Islam.
SURREAL.
A couple weeks ago, one of my students asked me if I would be the advisor for the Model United Nations (MUN) club on campus. Obviously I was interested. When I asked her what she wanted from me, she said, 'Do you know about religions? Can you teach us about Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam?' She almost jumped out of her chair when I told her I could! I was careful to tell her that I would teach ABOUT these religions, not tell people what they should believe. ....but I can't believe the opportunity that just fell into my lap!
I talked about Mohammed, basic beliefs about the Koran, Allah, and the importance of living a hilal lifestyle. We discussed the 5 pillars of Faith and distinctive practices of Islam all over the world. I even used a powerpoint - teacher points!
It blows me away that because of my background, education, and natural curiosity, I have a mountain of information to teach students who have no knowledge about religions at all. Of the 10-ish students present, one of them had one Muslim friend. We talked about burqas, head coverings, dietary restrictions, Sunni and Shia believers, the Crusades, the Jewish diaspora at the fall of Jerusalem and the war of 1945 that reestablished Israel and displaced the Palestinians. And ALL of them paid rapt attention and asked detailed, intelligent questions -- every teacher's dream.
At the next meeting we will discuss Buddhism. I'm a little more nervous about that because I live in CHINA, but it's not likely that any of my students are practicing Buddhists, so that's a consolation. They asked me to begin with Christianity, but I want to hold out on that one - it's worthy of much thought and preparation. I'm so excited to be doing this here!
**A gentle reminder: I can speak freely in this format, but I highly prefer that the name of the university I teach at NOT be mentioned in the comments. Thank you for your discretion!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Weeeee!
Instead of just reblogging something I posted on tumblr, someone actually quoted me. YAYAYAY!!
Is this a dumb thing to be happy about? I feel so special! =)
Is this a dumb thing to be happy about? I feel so special! =)
What a day this has been!
 |
| The street where I live |
Today is one of those days where I walked down the street and thought, "Yeah. I really live here. I'm on the OTHER side of the world, surrounded by Asian people...and life is AWESOME."
This is something you never forget, but often fail to realize.
It's so cool.
Today I feel like one of those interesting people who do something different. Tomorrow I might miss rain, or coffee, or fireplaces, but today is fantastic!
P.S. For those of you who sang or hummed the title of this blog, you are correct. Music points for you! Bonus point if you changed the photo caption to 'The street where you live' and sang that as well.
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