Things I Forgot I Love About China

• The Chinese are the nicest people in the world.  Chinese people are really great at living in large groups.  They avoid conflict like the plague, which means that you never hear, "No offense, but..." or "In my opinion..." and rarely is there a pointed comment.  They also bend over backwards to communicate accurately with you, random strangers extend themselves to help you, and they smile all the time.  It's just so nice!
• Cicadas.  The sound of these insects remind me of promises of restoration, the passing of seasons and hope.  Every time I hear them, I'm encouraged that there is a future ahead.
• Students turning in papers.  (This IS actually specific to China.)  When students turn in papers, they're obsessively neat about it.  They're always face-up, stacked in the same direction.  American students might try throwing their homework in the general area of the turn-in basket.  If you ask, Chinese students will even organize their homework according to their student numbers.  Grading bliss!
• Squattie-potties.  Ergonomically satisfying.  The End.*
• A stranger in a crowd.  There are different kinds of anonymity in your home country and in a foreign country.  In America, I'm no one special, and I blend in without question.  However, anyone at any point in time might start up a conversation.  In China, I'm ALWAYS a novelty, but rarely does anyone initiate a conversation with me.  I can be surrounded on all sides by hundreds of people, and be socially alone.  It's kind of nice in a way.  I'm present and involved in the community, but my thoughts and reflections are free to roam wherever they want.  It's nice.
• My coffee people.  There's a cafe in my building that I frequent often.  The people there are just fantastic, and I consider them personal friends.  They seemed just as excited to see me as I was to see them, even though I've only bought one cup of coffee so far.... Points to me for kicking a habit!
• Common touch.  People are always bumping into one another here.  This was something I absolutely hated when I first got to China, but now I love it.  It says, 'You're one of the crowd, you belong here.'
• Attentive listening.  When a Chinese person is interested in what you're saying.  They lock their eyes on your face and don't hardly move.  They are completely engrossed in your words and try to suck all possible meaning from it.  It's amazingly respectful and refreshing.
• Common sense problem-solving.  "Oh, you want this kind of cell phone case, with that kind of wrap?  Here, I'll glue it together."  ...that fix was way too easy to have occurred to me.
• FOOD.  American food is awesome, but there are some things that will simply never be the same unless you buy it from that one vendor one that one street corner.

*Pun really really intended

Funny New Habits...

• Hometown:  I've never used the word 'hometown' so often.  It's SO COMMON here.
• Avoiding contractions:  Expats naturally stop using contractions when talking to the Chinese.
• "It's okay":  Hao hao hao....everything is okay, always, no matter what....
• Na li?:  If someone pays me a compliment, the polite response is 'Where?' as if I didn't know the compliment were aimed at me.  I like it a lot.
• Shuffling feet: Confident, planted strides are a good way to slip on wet marble and die.
• Blocking/pushing:  Lines? What are those for? Everyone just pushes to where they need to go, like salmon jumping up a fish ladder*
• Passport 24/7:  ID-checking is a common occurrence, so I carry my passport all the time.
• The many uses of packing tape:  Hanging decorations? Broken radiator? Leaky sink? Irritating neighbor?  Packing tape.
• Walking in tandem:  Gal-pals are more physically affectionate here, more demonstrative.  You become really good at walking in sync with one another.
• Lame handshakes:  A firm handshake in China is perceived as brash, commanding, or suggestive.  Some men still have a hard time shaking a woman's hand.  My handshake has adapted to the climate (all things, to all people, right?).  My grasp is currently settled somewhere between "My fingers don't really work" and "Eew, I don't want to touch you."
• We've been told that 'laowai' means 'good old foreigner.'  Rumor has it that 'laowai' could possibly mean 'foreign devil' instead. =D

* The crowds of people always makes me think of salmon because everyone is always bumping into one another.

Awkward Moments

I expected to experience new things in China: tastes, smells, sounds, sights, confusions.  But equally new and surprisingly unexpected are the awkward exchanges between me and Chinese people.  Something will happen, the Chinese person will walk away, and my inner child is left squishing up her face saying, 'Wait. What? Hold on now - WHAT just happened?'  Then I tuck away my anecdote, pat the inner child on the head, and go on with my day.

Sound a little vague?  Lemme 'splain.

I hate my phone, but at least
it's purple and sparkly.

During my first week here, I went to the store with my friend while he bought a phone.  He was busy with the culture student (college students with AWESOME English and extra knowledge of American culture who often help us translate) so I practiced my pantomime skills and discussed the price of iphones in America with the store employees.  The girls got really excited and asked to take pictures with me (of course).  They pulled me really close - friendship in China is high contact - talked about my makeup and then one brave soul leaned in close...and very gently touched my eyelashes.  Then I heard Michael (the culture student gasp) and yell 'No!' and I thought, 'Yup, that happened.'  Poor guy.  I thought he was gonna have a heart attack.

China was a closed country for so long that the sight of foreigners is still relatively new.  People are used to seeing the laowai on campus, but a trip into town reminds me that I'm definitely the 'other.'  I constantly see people sneaking pictures of their white friend (ie: they saw me on the street) or suddenly grabbing me for pictures.  Sometimes people push their young children at me for pictures, like a tourist attraction.  The brave ones hold up two shaky fingers in a peace sign and stare wide-eyed into the camera.  And yes, I've had children run away in fear.  Who does that?  Geez, in MY country we only forced children to take pictures with fat old men in red furry suits or people dressed like giant bunnies.  Because that's not frightening at all....

---> The next section is about a squattie potty.  Avoid if you are faint of heart or an overly visual thinker.

I think the most awkward moment I've had with a stranger so far was at a rest stop on the way to Xi'an. Squattie potties are inherently awkward, and usually filthy and smelly. (I will never complain at an American rest stop ever again.)  Sometimes there are no doors on the stalls, or they don't lock, or won't shut.  Depending on the line and sense of urgency, sometimes you just suck it up and discreetly take care of business.  (Chinese women don't seem to care, so you adapt, right?)  Anyways, I was traveling to Xi'an when this very situation presented itself.  My priority was all about completing business, so I opted to blitz through the crowd to a stall without a door.  A Chinese woman took that opportunity to stare straight into my eyes....and I couldn't get away.  I tried to shoot her a look that communicated something along the lines of 'Surely this is a mistake...' But she maintained a direct and intent study of my face.  The. Whole. Time.  All of my friends stood with their mouths hanging open, and tried to build a human shield as best they could.  I feel like all people know that direct eye contact is not okay when someone is...busy.  Utterly flabbergasting!  Back on the bus I was speechless, (a miracle!) but that's okay, because my friends told the whole bus....groan...  Yeah, maybe I shouldn't post this, but it was SO absurd!

---> End of the potty part.

I was back at my favorite coffee shop the other day, and a teenage girl found me interesting, so she watched me from the table next to me.  She tried to talk to me, but she didn't speak any English, so she kept staring.  Then she walked over to the wall divider by my table, rested her chin on her hand, her face maybe 20 inches away from my face, watching.  Maybe 20 minutes went by as I tried to work.  So very disconcerting.  I go to this shop to get away from people who could distract me from my grading.  Focus fail.  In hindsight, the girl may have been a little mentally impaired, but it wasn't glaringly apparent.  Still, the proximity made it really awkward.



All kinds of strange things happen here, but a special few leave me with that unique, slightly blank feeling and the thought, 'Yes. Yes, that just happened.'  Some of them are purely cultural differences.  Others happen because people allow curiosity to override manners.  I'm sure I've been guilty of that more than once in my life, and I'm sure people could easily provide examples!  At the end of the day you just put your face in your hands, laugh, take your inner child by the hand and move along.